My Light

The light of the moon
could barely make me see
the beauty I was looking for.
The light was even fading,
with so much looking.
I don't know how I found you,
but, I do know, that the door
opened up my light.
When you found me.

Jeddah, Nov 9, 2017

Truth

He who does not ponder,
is lazy.
He claims what he knows not,

only, because he was told so.
But truth,
is spread all around us;
If we only choose to look.
The poor fools,
scrambling,
seduced, and suffering;
through life’s winding roads,
rivers, and streams;
Truth is right here
within you.
Stand tall
and receive It,
with open arms. 

Jeddah, Nov 1, 2017

My Book

My Book

My book is my “Dream”.

And yes, She is a book I deeply love.

But I'm reading her slowly now.

So, the words are really far apart,

the spaces between the words are almost infinite.

I still feel her and the words of our story.

But it's in this endless space between the pages

that I'm finding myself now.

It's a place that's not of this material world.

It's where everything else is

that I didn't even know existed.

I love you so much.

But this is where I am now.

And this is who I am now.

And this is where I shall remain.

And I need to let you go, sometime.

As much as I don’t want to;

I can't live in your book anymore.

And you shall remain on my shelf

until they come to take me away.

And lay me down

into the soft sods of earth below.

Dancing with the worms.

Where I shall be waiting.

And if you ever find me,

I will be watching, patiently,

until you come.

So we may open my book,

once more,

Never to place it back on the shelf

ever again.

Jeddah, Oct 22, 2017

moments

There are moments in life,

When we think we are right;

When we seek opinions,

Yet choose to defy;

When our view is impaired,

By supposed thoughts;

When bias encroaches,

Our brainwashed minds;

When expectations are denied,

By fear and fright;

When our minds are so clouded,

With denial and strife.

These are the moments,

That make up our lives.

Fri, Oct 13, 2017

thoughts

thoughts,
they move, at
the speed of light;
displaying,
dark shadows,
throughout their flight;
bringing,
feelings of longing,
and despair;
back,
to the source,
of a mind that cares;
sitting,
on the porch
and waiting;
hoping,
for an eternity,
that doesn't dare;
fulfil,
an ageing dream,
of someone so rare.

The Star

A star is born,
and within her rays
our days are spent;
giving nourishment,
growth, and life.

The star brings life,
spreading her warmth,
beauty, and sunshine;
leaving us cold, only
when she reclines.

The star will die,
and with her will
we all perish;
into a darkness,
solitude, and strife.

Searching

My mind has traversed,

through hills and dales,

walking, running, and fleeting;

From back streets to highways.

From islands to continents.

From grasslands to deserts.

And what you see in me now

is the wearied traveller,

saturated with sweat,

yet, filled with fantasies.

Moving on.

Into the wind.

Destination unknown.

Lost and found.

Still searching!

Paperback Writer

Weary, roughened, and forlorn,
I'm a paperback writer,
who tells stories,
of people, places and towns.

Presupposed thoughts
permeate my mind,
threading through the lives
of real people and their times.

The story evolves
from beginning, middle, to the end;
With crescendos of emotions
peaking high and low.

She picks me up gently
and leafs through my pages;
The edges are bent
from bookmarks left behind.

The cover is faded.
I am slammed shut
while she sleeps;
Her mind filled with all of my thoughts.

Morning has broken
I am picked up again

and read;

Minds are stirred. 

When the book is done,
I'm just a pile on the shelf. 
just a paragraph

in other peoples lives.

Jeddah

Apr 23, 2017

My Illusion

I saw her peeping 
through a sprinkling of rain
seemed so far away,
she was untouched; 
She danced for me
through a screen
so voluptuously;
A fleeting feline
stalking through the leaves,
I look around
and she's there waiting; 
I beckon her
and she comes forth
displaying her finery;
Arms stretch out
in a tight warm hug
that seems never ending;
Illusions can be beautiful
when they stay
in your mind;
The air is filled with laughter
it will always be that way
as long as she stays;
I keep walking
along the road
until I get to my pot of gold;
Where I hope
she will be waiting
for me;
To dance again
in the rain.

My Silence

I am your silence,
who follows you
everywhere;
Even though I may
sound loud
and pestering sometimes;
Embrace me tight.
For I shall hold you 
close to me forever
and protect you
from the silence
of evil.
Listen to my silence.
You will be safe.

Day 1

He woke up at five,
she was all over his mind.
The weekend was here,
it was time to rest
before diving into reading
and his writing started.

She was rolling
under her quilt,
pondering whether
God existed or not.
And, if he really did,
was he needed at all.

And he contemplated
If there would be a response
from an expected source.
What would he say?
How would he deny?

The thought of death,
shadowed across
his mind.
Was it near or
was it far away?
He wanted to live
for her.

She wondered
if sentences were real.
Did they exist or not?
And the question popped
up in her mind;
Do we like something
because its beautiful?
And do we like it
just for ourselves
in a selfish way?

And his mind wandered
to his own flesh and blood.
What would she do after him?
Will she survive independently?
Does she have the courage?
Surely, she will miss him.
But would he even know?
There was no way to tell.
Only time will decide.

And she has a sister,
who needs his help.
He wants to lead her,
out of her quandary.
But it seems a tangled web
that will take some effort
to unwind
and play itself out.

Day rolls on,
night unfolds.
A party.
The longing to be close
was never more needed
than now.
A hug and clasp
under his quilt.
If only she was here?
She said “yes",
“me too”.
They pondered.
And that was all
they could muster.
Even though
minds sought more.
It was time to rest
again.
Until the morrow.
Good Night sweetness!

Calling

Did I hear a knock,

on my front door?

Or was it just the wind

howling, across the floor?

Woke me up too early,

so I go back to sleep;

To wake up again shortly,

to the sound of a beep.

A WhatsApp message,

asking “what do you think of me”.

So I answer,

I don’t want to pass.

Explaining plus and minus,

like in an old math class.

Was I right,

or did I get it wrong?

A question was asked,

and I just played my song. 

A New Day

day

the earth is flat

from where I am

although

I stretch my vision

further

over the distant horizon

and see

its awesome curves

enveloping me

in a hug

and

upon it I see creatures

great and small

dancing

their daily jig

in fits and starts

tumbling

over one another

making ends meet

racing

​bombing​

​destroying

occupying lands

​, and​

struggling

​,​

 in

boats

ghettos

slums

squalor

and hopelessness

while others

count their cash

dont pay taxes

seek opportunities

to make that extra

buck

deal

transaction

and some 

look for work

feed the baby

water plants

go to school

​mop floors​

​cook food​

​do the laundry​

while

cars roar

planes fly

ships sail

another new day

just dawned 

in 

​a ​

paradise

​called earth​

HB101

Human Behavior – Lesson I

Every human has 3 vital ego states in their mind

Dr Eric Berne’s research on transactional analysis classifies them as:

PARENT (P)

ADULT (A)

CHILD (C)

Every statement we make or action we execute is a TRANSACTION (T)

Every feedback we get to that Transaction is a RESPONSE (R)

Let’s take a simple case study. I will use abbreviations as shown above

Husband: "Where are my car keys. I cant find them anywhere"

This is a genuine Transaction (T)

Wife: "You are always leaving your keys here and there all the time and asking me to find them"

This is a Response

The husband’s T was a genuine Adult to Adult request

The wife’s R was a typical Parent to Child one

So if u put

husband                wife

P                              P

A                              A

C                              C

For husband on left side and same for wife on right side u can draw a line for the A to A Transaction of the husbands request.

And u can draw a line from the wife's P to the Husbands C for her Response

So A to A horizontal Transaction line is being crossed by P to C of wife’s Response

Now when the T line is crossed by the R line there will be conflict

If the wife chose to say "OK lets look for it together it must be somewhere around here" then that would be an A to A response.

When the two lines are parallel and do not cut each other there is good relationship and no conflict

So the wife’s response wasn't typical of a mature lady

Temper also comes from insecurity

To flare up n cover the guilt feeling

The other is IMPATIENCE