Points of View

Do we ever ponder over the virtue of even attempting to try to understand another persons point of view? We all have views and when we do we ought to say, yes I see your point of view too but I think it in this way. I was taught this at an early age and I grew up in an environment where accepting another persons view had no social stigma and where expressing ones own view (even in public) was commended. Good times were had by all. However, it turns out that some people, highly intelligent and intellectual people, seem to be completely unable to admit and accept this. Even when it concerns a trivial matter, such as getting a factoid wrong, the best response I can hope for is a grunt of acknowledgement. I'm not talking about uneducated or intellectually insecure people here. Okay, so a lot of adults don't appreciate being given a differnt point of view. Duly noted. I could move on, but the virtues of scholarship and curiosity compel me to find out why. Predictably Irrational (Ariely) and Influence (Cialdini) don't have the answers. My non-scientific experiments indicate that prefacing a statement with "That idea may be flawed, wrong because..." doesn't work. It seems to make people extra defensive. Standard strategies of persuasion do work, of course. Rephrasing the statement as a question? Works. Saying "Hmm" and pausing before you make your say? Works. Making a suggestion that indirectly points out the point? Yep, works. These are all standard strategies of expression and they can be used to work around the issue but they don't explain why it is that some people have such an aversion to being confronted in the first place. So where does the aversion come from? In a group context signalling could explain it: when you provide a differing view to somebody you draw attention to a possible erring and this could lead to (perceived) loss of status. I don't think this is the real cause because people seem equally annoyed when confronted in a private conversation where there is nobody to signal towards. In cases where signalling takes a dominant role (e.g. when a bunch of guys are talking and a woman joins in) you clearly see a change in behavior because the guys wish to be perceived in a specific way. So in some groups signalling effects can make it more difficult to admit error but signalling is not the underlying cause that makes people averse to acknowledging different views in the first place. Maybe it is an issue of ego. Is another point of view seen as the role of a teacher thereby forcing the other in the student role? That would explain the aversion, but if that's the explicit thought process otherwise rational people would see it doesn't make sense and change their behaviour accordingly. So there can't be an explicit (tactical) thought process underlying the behaviour at all! Maybe people don't wish to admit what they even see as a valid point of view because they prefer to keep it all ambiguous. By admitting, they know that, "I know that they know that they could be wrong". This feels like the most plausible explanation, even though the explicit admission of the issue does not change the state of the shared knowledge: the situation wasn't really ambiguous to start with. So then I'm forced to conclude it's some knee-jerk, gut level aversion to being corrected that has no underlying logic or motivation. I cannot even begin to comprehend this. Given the effort required to find and express ideas openly, honestly and objectively, how can we feel anything but gratitude when somebody points out where we may have been wrong?

Coming Together

All creatures, big and small, on planet earth have been nurtured, have evolved, and survived through time, creating and building various forms of relationships. This pattern of mutual interaction, for mutual benefit, has existed across all species, irrespective of their location, size, lifestyle or type.

History, culture, religion, and old wives tales have all been contributing factors to establish relationships, the primary of them all being the sexual union for the purpose of procreation and survival of the species. Many relationships, thus initiated, are also guided by superstition, myth, expectations, and servitude. The male, of course, has always been the dominant partner in most relationships across all species.

In Kingdom Animalia, relationships are usually short term and established purely for procreation with minimum emphasis on emotions and staying together. However, some groups do maintain some form of family structure within their tribes in the wild. This also serves as a means of safety and protection for the herd. In some groups its the female who does the hunting while the male takes a break.

Human societies also have a few female dominated groups in South America, Africa, and Asia, closeted within small tribes and castes in remote villages and forests.

Irrespective of the dominant gender, all groups still search for that "soul mate" with whom they think and believe they can spend a lifetime of happiness and contentment. Marriage, is an institution that has been created by religion and culture. While this is now a standard operating procedure across a majority of communities across the globe, there still prevails extra marital relationships, intrigues, and even difficult situations between people in managing their lives. One way of getting out of jail is divorce. However, that facility is not always available in all the prevailing belief systems, even today, in the 21 Century.

Humans meet each other and establish communication and relationships purely based on opportunities that are available to them. One goes to a school or university and makes friends. Some of these early friendships last for long periods of time. Work environments provide another source of contact and making friends. Social clubs, sports, the gym, and other extra curricular activities, bring more opportunities for friendship. Eventually, many of these simple acquaintances lead up to marriage, children, and families. 

Thus the "opportunity" is the main factor that provides us with relationship building. If one was born in Japan, the chances are that he or she will start up a relationship with another Japanese and the same will hold good for anyone else born anywhere on our planet. The search for a soul mate does not necessarily conclude that the one you have met and established s relationship with is the best and only available. It is very possible that there may be so many millions of others out there who will fit the bill better than the one at hand.

So, the specific location, date and time, wherever one may have chosen to live or work, or even have been dumped by situations or events to survive, would eventually be the main criteria for meeting someone and establishing a relationship.

Based on this precept would it not then be correct to conclude that we can easily disable a relationship and enable a new one at any given time?

Greetings to our Grandkids

July 30 2015

To: Maria & Abdullah Sheriff
From: BigDad & BigMum

Hi Maria & Abdullah, our beloved grand children,

You two will be on your own now from tomorrow onwards until one of us visits you once again. You have a great responsibility to take care of each other, support, and carry on your lives in a positive and open manner seeking to achieve your goals in the coming years, successfully. God Willing!

We will all miss you a lot. But thats what life is all about. We have to live, learn, and survive through the trials and tribulations of life. There will be good times, some difficult ones, and issues that you will have to manage, resolve, and move on.

The most important thing to remember is that we are family and will remain as er, we are family as one single unit whose goal will be to see all off us happy and successful in life, irrespective of where we are and what we choose to do.

Our best wishes to both of you. Remember we will always be there for you as we have been since your birth, growth and development.

Miss you both so much.

Bless you!

The Great Trains of Lanka

[The blue M2 Canadian diesel locomotives that came into service starting 1954 powered the Udarata Menike, Yal Devi, Ruhunu Kumar and the Podi Manike (the Nan Oya Express). At that time we lived at the end of Ramakrishna Road with only the approach road separating us from the railway line. Little as I was, I remembered the Ruhunu Kumari, (the Matara Express) roaring past us in the morning. Later I would watch her out of my class window in Miss Dwight’s Standard II class at St Thomas’ Prep School. - Jayantha]

My Dad was on Carolina Group, Watawala for 27 years, and  before he retired, he planted in Bandarawela for four years. Carolina was a huge estate of 2230 acres. By a topographical twist of fate, the railway line from Colombo to Badulla went through one of the divisions of Carolina called Mt.Jean. In fact the Watawala railway station was located on Mt.Jean division! Our bungalow on Kadawella division was some distance away from the railway track, but each day around 1.30 pm. we could hear the sound of the horn and the throbbing hum of the diesel locomotive as the "Menike" slided on ribbons of steel on her onward journey uphill amidst spectacular landscape on the way to Badulla. The blast of the horn would echo through the green hills and in the solitude of an estate bungalow it was a reassuring sound.
 
When the "Udarata Menike" was first introduced in 1954 it was powered by two British diesel locomotives. Before this, the train to Badulla was hauled by two steam engines which meant getting flecks of coal in one's eye, when looking out of the window ! And with the puffs of smoke blowing all over, the journey was not very pleasant. The introduction of diesel changed all that. A new set of carriages were hitched onto the diesel locomotives on her maiden run, and thats how it remained as long as I remember. The icing on the cake was the gift of twelve Canadian diesel locomotives under the Colombo Plan in the late 50's  - an outright gift from the Canadian government under the premiership of Pierre Trudeau. These diesels were a joy to behold, and I still remember the names of some of them, on either side of the locomotive gleaming in silver and blue. They were "Alberta" "Montreal" "Sasketchwan" "Prince Edward Island" "Vancouver" "Manitoba" "Toronto" and "Ontario". Out went the British locomotives  - at least on the up-country run, and in came one Canadian diesel to take their place. I later picked up some trivia about the Canadian locomotives. The distances they covered in Canada were at times over a thousand miles, and apparently the distance from Colombo to Badulla was insufficient for such high powered diesels of 2500 horse power. So after the "Menike" reached Badulla around 6.20 pm each evening, the locomotive had to be kept running for some hours after that, even though the journey had ended ! Apparently, one locomotive could provide electricity for an entire town ! After Dad went to Bandarawela, I used to travel by the "Udarata Menike" several times whenever I came to Colombo, and the return journey was one which I always anticipated with joy. It was not the train per se, but the incredible journey and the terrain of the track.
 

[Class M4 No. 745 Ruwanweli

The M2 manufactured by Canadian General Electric was so successful in then Ceylon, that when the purchase of another batch of diesel locomotives was being considered in the 1960s the contract went to the Canadians again. This time MLW, the Montreal Locomotive Works, who supplied the M4 commencing 1975; another set of blue Canadian diesels! - Jayantha]

In the the low country from Colombo to Rambukkana it was a smooth run. But once the train reached Kadugannawa the climb began, and if you sat on the right and dared to look out of the window when the train skirted the ridge called "Sensation Rock" you risked a nervous breakdown because a thousand feet below, you could see the roofs of thatched village houses and expanses of paddy fields  - all in minature. There was no protective barrier along this length of track and the train was travelling on the edge of a sheer precipice ! Once this nerve shattering climb was negotiated, the terrain evened out to a level run upto Nawalapitiya. It was past Nawalapitiya that the real torturous climb began all the way to Nanuoya and from there to a spot on the track between Ambawela and Pattipola which is the highest point on the railway. After this it was 'downhill' all the way in the plains of Uva to the terminus at Badulla. On one of these trips I happened to be in the compartment up front behind the locomotive, and a very friendly guard took me into his section of the compartment from where I could see the driver in his cabin and observe this Canadian powerhorse in action. I was introduced to the driver, Mr.Wadugodapitiya an old Trinitian, and a senior driver in the Ceylon Government Railways. It was he who gave me the trivia I quoted earlier on the Canadian diesels.
 
I have done many trips by train in other countries and can tell you that the trip from Colombo to Badulla should be classed as one of the great train journeys of the world. Apart from the spectacular scenery through which the track goes through, specially in the hill country, just consider the near impossible gradient which the train traverses.......In fact there is a place called for some unknown reason, "Soda Bottle" bend on the line between Kotagala and Great Western which is an engineering marvel. So steep is the gradient that at a certain point on looking out of the window if one is seated on the right side of the train, one can see the railway track in two tiers below -   a graphic indication of the height the traveller has just passed through. And then there is the engineering masterpiece of the Demodera loop ! Once the train leaves Demodera station (two halts before Badulla) it goes full circle and at one stage passes right under the station which it has just left, on its way to Badulla ! Imagine leaving a station and then after about five minutes looking out of the window - or rather, looking up  - to find the station you just left is right above you !! Talk about the realms of fantasy ! It is a matter of regret that the name of the engineer who devised this masterpiece has not been recorded for posterity. On the return trip past Nanuoya, one gets a clear view of Adam's Peak in the distance - weather permitting -  until one reaches Talawakelle.  At Nanuoya - and this is addressed to old Anthonians in particular  - there is a little hill near the station, with a neat little bungalow on its summit. This was the home of Freddy, Paddy, Gerry, and Merry Guneratne when their Dad Alec Guneratne  - an old Anthonian and legendary soccer star of a bygone era - was stationed in Nanuoya during his service with the Ceylon Government Railways. I once walked with Royston and Basil Hyde from their home on Scrubbs Estate, Nuwaraeliya to the Guneratne home at Nanuoya  - a distance of four miles. We were entertained with cordon bleu home made delicacies by Paddy's Mum   - it is still a warm memory that never fades and sparks nostalgia for a happy time and place...... But I digress, so I had better get back on track........ 

 [M2 # 570 Alberta which hauls Yal Devi to Kankasanthurai.

At that time I did an article for The Tribune on the M2s and M4s, it was titled ‘The Canadian Connection.]

From Ohiya station upto Haputale the track seems to defy gravity ! It is cut on the side of a mountain and runs at the edge of a precipice with heart stopping views of the little villages far down below. It is a hair raising experience which I term as death defying ! You have to sit on the left of the compartment to get your hair standing on all ends ! If you wish to play it safe, just sit on the right and all you will see is the side of a cliff. But the scenery which greets the traveller will live in memory forever. A panorama of deep valleys, green hills and lush countryside where nature has run riot with her paintbrush painting the land in colours of every hue......This kaladescope of nature's bounty penetrates your very soul to inspire and nurture the spirit........It is a photographer's delight and an artists paradise........and the bracing mountair air gives one a near supernatural sense of well being. The scenery on this entire journey is a nature lover's delight. From the lush hills on the Kadugannawa climb right upto Nawalapitiya, and then the beautiful tea country all the way to Nanuoya.
 
There were no luxury compartments. There was 1st, 2nd and 3rd class, and an excellent Restaurant Car staffed by uniformed waiters. The catering was done by U.K.Edmund.  For Rs.1.50 you could enjoy a delicious rice and curry and the tea was the nectar of the Gods. There was no Observation Car.
 
I think today the "Menike" is powered by a German Henschel locomotive and has some Rumanian compartments. In my humble opinion the Henschel diesel does not in any way, shape or form look as sleek, majestic and inspiring as her Canadian counterpart. During my last visit to Sri Lanka in 2000, I was pleased to see some of the Canadian locomotives still riding the rails. On a trip from Haputale to Colombo in the "Udarata Menike" we crossed the "Podi Menike" the younger sister of the "Udarata Menike" which I observed was hauled by a Canadian diesel locomotive, "Montreal". With that I shall conclude this email. But the "Menike" - 'The Maid of the Mountains' or, as I prefer to call her 'The Maid of the Mists', will forever travel the corners of our minds in the realms of memory on a journey that has no end...
 
Bernard VanCuylenburg. 

 

Bernard turned 70 on the 25th February.

Turning 65

Feb 16 2013

Come Chill with the T's

For many of you who may wonder

of a Thamby conspiracy up yonder,

To Halaalify your food,

and Shariah coat your hood.

To occupy the East,

and spread a Buriyani feast.

We like our beef curry,

and are never in a hurry.

Yes, our manhood tells stories,

but no need to bring any worries.

We have the right of four,

one behind each door.

Children are our pension,

so please dont preach retention.

We pray, we fast and pay Zakat,

we dont give much of a fart.

For those who try to meddle,

and spew venom and trouble.

So for the Bee's are stirring the pot,

I say, come on over, lets chill the crap out.

And through each passing day,

Pass the Watalapam, this way,

please! 

When I'm 64?

(apologies to J,P,G & R)

Just one more year, and I hope to be there,
Singing the same old songs.
Will we still be having our peace of mind,
Sunshine over us , waters so kind?
Will there be roses, blooming all day
will fauna still freely flow?
Will there be hunger,
Will there be pain,
When I'm 64?

And in the future, as we move on,
Will the killings all cease?
Will the people choose the same old wrongs,
Damning democracies, banging their gongs?
Will there be nations, killing their sons,
Infusing  revolutions?
Will there be sweetness,
Will there be love,
When I'm 64?

Where will all the good folks gather to meet and to greet, 
Or will life be filled with so much pain?

When the clock strikes to catch the last train,
Will we be let down?
Will the young people who brandish their guns
Keep on shooting and make us all run?
Will the task masters keep hunting us down,
making us look like clowns.
Will they still be there,
Will they treat us fair,
When I'm 64?